Just Say NO (… to these hideous fashion trends)

Nancy Reagan was onto something. Even if the cool kids are doing it, it still may be in your best interest to Just Say No.

The latest celebrity fashion trends, as captured best on WhoWhatWearDaily.com, lead me to believe we are all pawns in a cruel industry prank. As in, for example, let’s put Lindsay and Rihanna in some knee socks and chuckle as the undiscerning masses foolishly imitate (and we calculatedly cash in).

Rihanna actually rocks a FOOTLESS variety that extends above the knee worn with a black Louboutin pump. Are they leg warmers? Thigh highs? A rare hybrid? Who knows. Are they absolutely ridiculous? Hell yeah. Then again, consider the source. Rihanna is in part responsible for the lame leggings debacle. WHO is her stylist??? She must be drunk off the couture kool-aid.

Worse – far far worse – is this ankle boot fiasco. No grown woman should be seen in a “bootie.” The name alone is horrifying. It hurts my eyes to see otherwise-stylish girls in ankle boots paired with tights or leggings. Whoever decided to make it fashionable to sever the line of the leg in this most unflattering way is a misogynist. Period. I have seen women with incredible bodies including models, dancers and actresses attempting to work this and no one, NOT A ONE, looks good. As a friend recently put it, “it works…. if you’re singing Santa Baby in the Christmas spectacular at Radio City.” Sure, it’s a (sometimes not-so-cheap) thrill to take a chance on something new but I just can’t support the habit when it’s universally and unilaterally f’ugly.

Keep your boots in your pants unless they are at or approaching the knee. Consider that gospel.

I mean, ladies – I ask in a non-patronizing way, didn’t your parents ever give you the If All Your Friends Jumped Off The Brooklyn Bridge, Would You Too speech??

It frightens me to see how this garbage is served up in pretty packaging (i.e. on celebs and runway models) and not only is it embraced, it’s purchased. It is unimaginable that young women (and even not so young ones) are spending their hard-earned cash to look so……….. silly.

Someone stop the madness and take a moment to consider – does this even look good on me??? It may look current, it may be called fresh, modern, edgy – but does it actually flatter your figure?? If the answer is ‘not so much’, I urge you to go against the grain and please, please Just Say No.

And if the answer is ‘yes’ you’ve lost your mind. It’s called denial, and it’s time for an intervention.